Thursday, 3 October 2013

A Case of The 'EX'

Was it just me or did anyone else experience a scenario where all your ex from past relationships suddenly rush for you just because they learned you were getting married?

As absurd as it may sound it actually happens, at least to me it did. They all seem to want you back, calling you non stop at all hours and pleading with you not to go with the other guy, trying to sabotage your impending marriage, promising you all the earth's riches if only you'd just come back to them.

This made me wonder, what changed? I certainly did not. Did I all to suddenly become marriageable or did the fact that someone else thought I was hastened them to think I was. Why were they so desperate? They never talked marriage when we were friends and they knew it was on my agenda, or were they just so laid back thinking to themselves that one's life resolved around them. Well, they learned a hard lesson - Time waits for no man - and I most certainly wasn't waiting for any of them. Its amusing though, watching them scramble for my attention when I'm no longer interested.

What i find hard to understand is why people prefer to hide their feelings so as not to appear weak. A boy likes a girl, they become friends. Boy(who may or may not have the money) wants to marry girl(who's dying to be proposed to by boy), he tells her and they can either get married right away or wait till they are both ready. I know I'm a big dreamer but this is how easy it should be to have a relationship. Rather what we find are people playing games and toying with other people's emotions. Boys blame girls, girls blame boys.... It just keeps getting worse.

So back to my Ex, he's somewhere sulking while I'm already taken. I'm very sure he's probably gotten over me, what  I'm not certain about is why he waited till I was taken before he made his intentions known. I guess we'll never know now because I never gave him a chance to explain. Why would I? who wants the past to haunt the future? Definitely not me.

Tuesday, 30 July 2013

How Much Sex Should Married Couples Have?

Familiarity, advancing age, work pressures, the challenges of raising a family, and household responsibilities all conspire against regular sex among many otherwise loving couples who feel too harried to get physical.

Sex is designed to make you feel good for a reason. With someone you love, It's recommend for many reasons: It's good for your health and good for your relationship. It's good for respiration, muscles, and bladder control. It's a fine antidepressant, and it can renew your energy. Staying sexually and emotionally connected on a frequent basis has merit.

Regular sex actually increases sexual desire in the couple,  In other words, the more you 'do it,' the more the individuals will seek it. You develop a desire that wasn't normally there. The act itself is reinforcing.

Couples are encouraged to have 'good enough' sex. This sets realistic expectations and often lowers anxiety. Sex is like pizza: even when it's bad, it's usually still pretty good. On a scale from one to 10, good-enough sex is between 5 and 7

Sexual attraction and sexual arousal bring to bear two very important hormones, dopamine and Oxycontin, both of which create bliss and bonding. Even if the lovemaking session started out with only a modest amount of interest, once arousal starts, these hormones create attachment, pleasure, and intimacy. So while everyday sex isn't necessary, frequent sex is a great bonus and even an essential part of most couple's commitment and happiness with one another.

Talk About Sex - The first steps towards having a better sex life is to feel comfortable talking about it. Most couples often shy away from discussing it, hence, there's a lot of sexual frustration between them. This frustration if unchecked may lead to frictions in the marriage and could cause strife and bitterness between the couples. In talking about sex, couples can discover a lot about their partner's preferences and distastes. This in turn also create a good atmosphere for other issues to be addressed.

Be Prepared - That's right get ready! who can say no to a sexy looking, good smelling, action ready you? If the sex is lacking in your marriage, then you'll have to put in more work to make it happen. Take a shower, wear on a nice fragrance, put on something sexy, get yourself in the mood and be ready to go.

Once you start, Don't stop! - When you started as as just lovers, I bet the sex was really good. Then the kids and the jobs and all the worries of marriage came in and took it's toll, then the sex declined. Once you begin to have regular sex again, try to keep it going. It's so much easier to keep a fire burning than starting up a new one.

Wednesday, 24 July 2013

The Woman is the Reflection of Her Man

A Secret of Love 

"My wife got sick. She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and problems with children. She has lost 30 pounds and weighted about 90 pounds in her 35 years. She got very skinny, and was constantly crying. She was not a happy woman. She had suffered from continuing headaches, heart pain and jammed nerves in her back and ribs. She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the morning and got tired very quickly during the day. Our relationship was on the verge of break up. Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, she was poking her head, and stopped taking care of herself. She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role. I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced soon… But then I decided to act on it. After all I’ve got the most beautiful woman on the earth.   Angelena Jole is the ideal of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her and to hug her shoulders. I began to pepper her with flowers, kisses and complements. I surprised her and pleased every minute. I gave her lots of gifts and lived just for her. I spoke in public only about her. I incorporated all themes in her direction. I praised her in front of her own and our mutual friends. You won’t believe, but she has blossomed. She became even better than before. She gained weight, was no longer nervous and she loved me even more than ever. I had no clue that she can love that much".

I assume there's much debate about the authenticity of this quote, but that shouldn't steer us away from the fact that the man in the above situation fought for his marriage. He had the option of doing nothing and could later blame the woman for their imminent divorce but he chose to stay by her side, showering her with more love rather that get angry and frustrated.

Marriages are meant to be for better or worse, here we see a woman who's at her worst moment and ready to give up, but her man wouldn't let it. He nurtures her back into health and soon she blooms. Between working things out or giving up on a failing marriage, giving up is the easier of both options. Before giving up, think about how much time, effort and resources it cost to get that far, and especially where kids are involved, think also of their welfare. Before you start thinking you can always find someone else, think of how long it took you to find the one your planning to walk away from, think of all the troubles you had starting out and how fewer quarrels you've had over the years. Is walking out really the best solution? Troubled times are always rough, but it's the great moments that should linger longer in the heart.

Women generally want 3 basic things from their men - His unconditional Love, Care and Attention. Trust me guys, if she gets all this from you, she will be anything you want her to be.

Tuesday, 23 July 2013

4 Things Single People Should Know Before Getting Married

Rights of Couples Before and After Marriage:

As single individuals, it’s our utmost right to live as we like so long as it conforms to the rules and obligations of the Society. We can live as carefree as we deem fit, but when we finally get married, most of this right is no longer applicable. This is not because our spouses say so, but rather as a result of careful consideration for our partners.

Below are some of the Rights we have and how they may change after marriage.
      Freedom of Independence; as a single person, your totally free to do as you wish, date whoever you desire, go wherever you wish when you wish to and how you which to, you owe no one no explanations for your actions. But when you finally get married, I’m afraid you can no longer do as you wish. You can’t go anywhere without informing your partner, you most certainly can no longer date, and whatever plans you make, you make with your partner.  When you truly love your partner, sharing such information would be pleasant. You would want him/her to know your plans and whereabouts – this builds trust, you would want to go everywhere with them – this shows you are proud of them, and you would surely want to stop seeing the Ex – your Ex is your past, your marriage is your future, which way would you rather go? 
        Some Friends Have Got to Go; It’s ok to keep all sorts of friends when your single, the bad ones make you have fun while the good ones keep you in check, but when you get married, the should be no room for bad friends in your life. You don’t want to come home and find your friend messing around with your partner – trust me, this happens a lot –, you don’t want such friends giving you advice when marital issues arise either. So it’s best you keep them at arm’s length or better still, cut them off.
      I’m Always Right; we all have that little voice in our heads telling us we are always right. Are we? Really? Being single, your voice may be all you want to hear but this must change when you get married, i.e., if you want to have a peaceful marriage.  Sacrifice and Compromise they say makes a marriage sail smoothly, and for you to have this, your partner’s voice may sometimes have to supersede yours. 
      My Income is Mine; yea sure it’s yours and you can go on a spending spree for all anyone cares, but I’m afraid that will definitely have to change after marriage unless of course the income is a very big fat one. In marriage, everything should be shared, including income. This is for the general welfare of the family, and this particularly brings couples together because almost every aspect of running a family involves spending. The burden is always lighter when two people share it.

Being single is cool, It’s a fun, exciting and spontaneous period in our lives. No one says our marriages can’t be same, it could equally be as fun, the only difference is doing it all with a partner, after all, what one person can do, two people will do even much better.

Thursday, 18 July 2013

Kemdi's Blog: Marriage Turns a Girl-child Into a Woman?

Kemdi's Blog: Marriage Turns a Girl-child Into a Woman?: What a joke! So a 14yr old suddenly becomes a woman just because some unconscientious man decides to make a wife out of her or her greedy ...

Marriage Turns a Girl-child Into a Woman?

What a joke! So a 14yr old suddenly becomes a woman just because some unconscientious man decides to make a wife out of her or her greedy parents give her out for whatever insane reason. Do they really know the implications of this singular action?

One minute she's gathering toys in her cute little bedroom and in the next instant, she's thrust into the care of her so called husband and her faith now lies entirely at his mercy. She's had no prior training, her mind isn't even fully developed to grasp the concept of marriage, yet she's suddenly the care taker of a home.

Most ladies find it hard enough being married, so how's this girl-child supposed to cope? What happens when she gets to his house? Has she even had a sex talk with her mother? What does she know about running a home? Has she discovered herself and what she will be? A million questions prowl through my mind as i ponder this, and I'm terribly saddened not only for the poor child that will be unluckly to find herself in this situation, but for the society at large.

When we begin to add or remove clauses in the constitution that works against children,one can only imagine what the future holds for our unborn little ones. We turn our eyes away from real issues bugging our society at large and begin to adjust our Laws so that it favors a few.

People have done a lot of things (good and bad ) under the guise of religion, let's not endanger the future of our children under the same guise. Knowing how Nigeria works, any form of evil that's given room always escalates. Soon parents will start giving out their under aged children and quote the law for you. Some men will start abusing young girls under the same guise that they want to marry them. The streets will no longer be safe for our young daughters, immorality will soon spread into our junior secondary schools ( I'm assuming it's common knowledge that immorality has swept through our senior secondary schools), and the list goes on.

Denying any individual a childhood no matter how poor is one of the greatest wrongs that can be inflicted on such a child. Not only is their innocence lost forever, these children are left at the mercy of our harsh society.

Enough said! What are your thoughts on this?
Click here to watch video

Wednesday, 17 July 2013

What Was I Thinking???

I ask myself everyday, what on earth was i thinking when I quit my job? Some decisions just come back to bite you in the ass, this one was surely one of them.

For some insane reason, i decided to quit my job. Maybe it was because I was still basking in the euphoria of being newly married, or that i was head over heels in love and so I wanted to spend every minute of each passing day with him. Whatever it was that possessed me to make that decision has long gone, and now that I am back to reality, I wish i hadn't.

Being jobless is the worst feeling in the world. Not only are you bored, it makes you feel like you are such a burden to everyone around, it's especially worse when you are newly married. These days, guys want ladies that are independent, even your in-laws appreciate you more when you are working. If i had known how quickly confidence goes with loosing one's independence, I would have had a re-think on that decision.

Here I am feeling sorry and miserable when I could have been in the office working and being relevant. Money saved up in the bank is quickly being depleted because there's no longer any steady income, boredom is beginning to get the better of me and my mind starts to plays tricks on me. I start lashing out at my hobby, looking for who to blame for my mistake, and when things started heating up between us, i had to pinch myself to stop before I ruin it all.

Spending 24hrs with the same person can be fun, but it can also be terribly boring. You soon run out of things to say and before long you start saying the wrong things which could then turn ugly. Don't get me wrong, the love is still strong and solid, its just the boredom. The saying "An idle mind is the Devil's workshop" has never been more vividly clearer to me. When I working, I used to look forward to going home because i had a lot of gist, now we stayed home all day watching TV and occasionally going out.

Nobody had to tell me to start looking for another job, especially when i planned to take a trip only to realize my account balance wasn't sufficient to get me a Visa. Dear God, I pray, please help me to get a new job ASAP. Amen!

To all ladies out there, before you quit your job for whatever reason, please ensure you have plan B and if possible C. I realized that you first have to be happy before you can make anyone happy. Learn from my mistake, don't make yours.

Tuesday, 16 July 2013

Baby Watch Fever!

The world is awaiting the arrival of the royal baby, and according to Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, we don't have to wait too much longer!

On Monday, Prince Charles' wife reportedly told well-wishers at Little Harbour children's hospice, located near St. Austell, Cornwall, that the family expects Kate Middleton to give birth "by the end of the week."

"We are all just waiting by the telephone," Camilla said in an impromptu speech. "We are hopeful that by the end of the week he or she will be here."

The world can't definitely wait for sure, check out the campers outside the hospital where she will be delivered, LOL.