Thursday, 11 July 2013

Should couples live together before marriage?

There are many milestones in a relationship that get your heart pumping. The first time you kiss. The inaugural "I love you." Exchanging apartment keys. Meeting the parents. And, a very big one: moving in together.

Whether it's a prelude to marriage, replaces an exchange of vows, or happens only after the big day, eventually two people in love will want to share a home. But if marriage is the plan, should a couple co-habitate beforehand?

We asked around to find out what people like you really think.

No, you should not live together before marriage:
"I don't think couples should. Life has very few really special events and living with each other before marriage makes the actual wedding just a formality." – Lenny D., 36, Toronto

"I don't think it's necessary. There have been lots of marriages that have worked without the couple living together beforehand." – David Payne, 46, Toronto

“No, living together before you get married is a bad idea. It's wrong, for religious reasons. Also, so many of my peers are jumping into cohabitation in their 20's, but this is the time of life where you should be exploring who you are, what it's like to be independent, how to pay your own bills and get by on your own, that sort of thing.” – Avery S., 25, Montreal

"I don't think it is a good idea to live together before marriage for practical reasons. For example, my condo is too small for a second person to move in. I'd have to sell it if I decided to live with someone. I'm not willing to go through a major real estate transaction for an experimental living arrangement. And 'experimental' is how I view a plan to live together then maybe get married." – Penny, 32, Toronto

Yes, you should live together
"I wouldn't consider marriage without living together first. Living together you get a chance to know a person's day-to-day routine, see the highs and lows, and discover things about them that you won't necessarily learn from merely dating. You get to make sure you're truly compatible in all ways. At this stage in my life, I don't want to just go on blind faith." – Steve G., 43, Toronto

"Moving in with your spouse only once you've tied the knot is asking for disappointment and inviting unnecessary stress on what should be a time for two people to seal a permanent bond with each other. It seems irresponsible and almost naive for couples to expect that their vows will be strong enough to see them through the rough spots, especially if you have to experience them all at once. Before living together, we're really only seeing two dimensions of our partner's personality – the third dimension might just prove to be more than one can handle." – Stephanie Bratt, 29, Mississauga, Ont.

In my opinion, I think its up to the couple involved. I know a couple who lived together for 10yrs and still did not get married, and also another couple who barely knew each other for a little over 2 weeks and are still happily married. But this is just my humble opinion, what's yours?